so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
