Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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