Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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