I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
