Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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