My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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