My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
