the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
