Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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