No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She said her name was "party"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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