cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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