I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
