I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
