We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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