i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
