just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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