i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
