What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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