I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
