Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize