all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
