Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I queefed so loud it echoed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
