sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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