The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
