He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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