I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
