if you like me you must not know who I am
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
this is an emotional support booty call
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize