ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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