Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
