Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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