Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
