so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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