I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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