just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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