And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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