he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
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My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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