my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize