with your own penis?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
