It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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