Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
