I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
