You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
