:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize