$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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