If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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