Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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