I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You are a genius and a whore.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
