Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
