at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.