I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
