just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
