I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize