2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yo dont text me then not text me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
