She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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