were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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