I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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