this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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