I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize