i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
